Many women who face unplanned pregnancy and consider adoption as an option feel tremendous guilt about the idea of “giving away” the child. They feel they are abandoning the child and failing in their responsibilities as a mother. Nothing could be further from the truth. These women who are giving baby up for adoption are in fact giving a gift to everyone involved.
The child, of course, is the center of the adoption equation. The most important things for the child to have in life are a happy family and a safe home. A woman who is giving baby up for adoption has chosen to do so because she does not feel, for whatever reasons—emotional, physical, financial—that she can offer the child those things. She is not abandoning her responsibilities; she is fulfilling them in an unconventional way. Providing the child with a loving family in a safe environment is the greatest gift a mother can give her child—even if it means doing the hardest thing and placing the child with a family who can better provide these necessities than she can. No gift to the child is greater than that.
Giving baby up for adoption is often very emotional for the birth mother, probably one of the hardest things she will ever do in life. Whatever her reasons for making the decision, she did not do it lightly; she knew there was a better place for the child. While living daily without the child may not always be easy, the birth mother knows that she has given the child the best chance to thrive by providing what the child needs to grow up loved and cared for. In knowing that, she also gives herself the gift of peace of mind.
The Birth Father
When people talk about giving baby up for adoption, they often forget that the birth father is an important piece of the puzzle as well. Not all birth fathers are involved in the pregnancy or the decision-making process, but those that are have concerns about the child’s well-being and want to ensure the child grows up happy and healthy just as much as the mother does. In choosing adoption, the birth father will get the same peace of mind that comes from knowing the child is in good hands.
The Adoptive Family
By the time a family adopts a child, the likelihood is high that the parents have tried for some time—perhaps many years—to have a child. That process often comes with much emotional turmoil and anxiety. Some families may fear they will never have the child they dream of. When the couple turns to adoption and finally receives the bundle of joy from the birth mother who is giving baby up for adoption, it is indeed a dream come true for the adoptive family. They now have the chance to nurture and raise a child, and they now can give the child the safe, loving home everyone deserves. No gift is greater for that couple than the love that child will bring.
It takes a special person to give a selfless gift, particularly if the gift is given at great emotional cost. For birth mothers giving baby up for adoption, this is especially true. When considering this option, any woman carrying an unplanned child should understand, without guilt, that choosing adoption is a gift to everyone involved.
This article was written by Vania Nussbaum, on behalf of AdoptHelp, offering you assistance through the adoption procedure. To know about the common myths associated with child adoption, you may visit About.com.