Is the Putting Child up for Adoption Decision for You

20 Jul

OK, you are pregnant, but you are not sure that you want to keep the baby.  One question you may be asking yourself: “Is adoption the right option for me?” Here are some sample questions that may help you determine how you feel about the putting child up for adoption decision:

Do you dream of not being a parent?

Do you fear not being able to live up to your own, your family’s, or even society’s expectations as a parent?

Do you feel that you are, in some regards, not mature enough to be a parent?

Do you feel pressured by your family (including the other birth parent) to take responsibility for becoming pregnant and expecting?

Do you feel pressured to get past being pregnant (expecting) so you can move on with the rest of your life?

Do you feel that your schooling/job/career is more important right now then having a biological child?

Are you experiencing symptoms of post-partum depression?

Do you wish to still have some contact with your child?

If you answered “I’m not sure” to any of these questions, please consult with an adoption agency. It does not hurt to ask for help. Instead, it shows great character on your part that you were able to turn away harmful thoughts and/or behavior and exhibit enough care for your child(ren) to see that they are still taken care of, given a good home, food, clothing, love, and life. The putting child up for adoption decision requires a certain amount of emotional strength on your part, and you may find some of that strength through the support of the staff of an adoption agency, as well as family and friends.

Certainly life gets in the way of living; you may be finishing college or university and can’t afford to raise a child and pay off student loans. You may have just gotten a good job or been promoted to a high position in the company when, (grrr, timing!) now you’re pregnant. There are many reasons why women find themselves in circumstances where they are face the putting child up for adoption decision; you’ve perhaps heard a few stories or two about women like that; you may even know a few women who’ve experienced this. Now it’s your story.

If you are, or feel that you are experiencing post-partum depression, please seek medical counseling. There is enough hope in this world for everybody, nobody should feel left out or excluded. Having said that, it is understandable that you may feel overwhelmed at many times during the putting child up for experience. Doing the right thing is considering the best interest of the child.

If you still feel though, that you may want to stay in contact with the child, apply for an open adoption. There may be conditions placed upon you and there may be certain limitations, (such as only seeing the child a few times a year, being only able to mail letters or make phone calls)—you could perhaps negotiate some favorable arrangements, through your adoption attorney.

When considering the putting child up for adoption decision, you must remember the most important factor is the best interest for the child.

This guest post was written by Bennie Brailford, on behalf of Adopt Help, a full-service domestic adoption center specializing in both independent and collaborative adoptions. To know more about adoption, you may also read

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Posted by on July 20, 2012 in Adoption


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